Say what you mean

We've all blurted out things we would like to take back, or have had what we said taken wrong. The same errors often occur in writing, perhaps even more frequently because written words have to stand on their own; they can't be propped up by body language, facial expression and tone of voice.

Absent these helpful indicators, what we write often goes awry. Anyone who's written what they intended as an inoffensive e-mail or memo only to be surprised by a frosty response that makes it clear that the recipient took it wrong, knows what I mean.

"Say what you mean," is the slogan for my public relations and marketing communications business. And if you want to make sure you're doing that when you author an e-mail, letter, memo, report or other written communication, follow some of these tips:

• Don't write when you're angry. Usually you'll regret it after you've cooled off. If you feel compelled to vent your ire in writing, go ahead. But wait at least 24 hours before shipping it out. Most of the time, you'll never send the poisonous missive you previously penned.

• Exercise one of a writer's most important tools: being able to read what you've written through the eyes of the reader. As the writer, you know that you're trying to be witty or humorous, but your reader can't look inside your head. He or she has only your words on the page or computer screen. Scrutinize your work with that in mind. Clarity and precision of language are key. Are you really saying what you mean?

• Let your writing age. Above, I recommended a 24-hour cooling off period when you write angry. I suggest the same period with any important communication -- be it a vital report or a love letter. That first draft that practically writes itself may initially seem to be a model of wit and sagacity, but revisiting it even a few hours later may unmask it as flawed and trite. I know, you often can't afford to postpone sending something. If so, follow this rule: stick to the unadorned facts and give your communication at least one swift read-through before pressing the send button.

• When e-mailing, don't rely on smiley faces and emoticons (keyboard characters that can be combined to form expressive symbols, :), for example) to convey that you're just kidding. I'm not advising against using these tools, but be mindful that not all of your recipients are aware of their meaning. Count on your words to convey your message.

• Know that humor is a tough effect to handle successfully, as anyone who has ever attempted stand-up can confirm. If you try to be comical in print, you'd better know what you're doing; otherwise, leave the jokes to the pros.

• Be mindful of "tone." I'm not talking about the noise you hear over the phone after the other party hangs up. In writing, tone refers to the choice of words, sentences and expressions that give readers insight into our mood and manner as we're speaking to them through writing. Our tone can be serious, frivolous, casual, angry, etc. In business writing, it's usually the former. Just make sure, as you review what you've typed, that your writing reflects that.

This list could be longer, but you get the point. Words are like dynamite. They must be handled carefully or they can blow up in your face. Here are some other helpful sources on this topic: Mind your manners and e-mail etiquette.